To her children, Thelma Benson Kalnen truly was the ultimate homemaker and mother. Every single day she cooked delicious meals: breakfast on the table in the morning, lunch served at noon and dinner ready by 6 p.m. Each night she set out eight place settings, one for each of her five children, one for herself, one for her husband and always one for someone else who needed a little extra care.
Mrs. Kalnen died peacefully Tuesday, July 22, 2014, at Davis Health Care Center. She was 84.
As a nurturing mother, Mrs. Kalnen made sure attend to her children’s clothes each day so that when they returned from school, the next day’s clothes were washed and ready, laid out in a spotless home. She didn’t just focus on the basic needs of clothing, food and shelter for her children, though.
All of her children took dance classes and were afforded the chance to take piano lessons. Linda Kalnen, Mrs. Kalnen’s first born, remembers her mother wanting her and her siblings to have every opportunity she could give them.
Mrs. Kalnen was also a firm believer in giving her children their independence, teaching them right from wrong and making sure they could handle tough situations on their own. When Linda learned how to drive, her mother told her a woman in today’s world needed to know how to change her own tire. She watched from the kitchen window as Linda worked with the tire iron to take the tire off her car, then put it back on again.
Her childhood, according to Linda, was nothing short of exceptional. While some children have wooden tree houses or plastic purchased homes to play in, Linda’s parents gave her and her siblings a 12-by-30 foot tractor trailer.
“Our house was where everyone would come. Dad had an arcade business and set up a place for teenagers to hang out,” Linda said. “She wanted everyone where she could watch them and know where they were.”
This was true even when it came to Mrs. Kalnen’s front yard. Rather than have her children roller blade on the sidewalk, she allowed them to skate indoors “so she could see them if they fell.”
“A child couldn’t have had a more loving and encouraging upbringing,” Linda said.
She was born Jan. 7, 1930, one of nine children of Mary E. and Joseph A. Benson. She was married to the late Theodore “Ted” R. Kalnen for 63 years, living in Castle Hayne with their five children. She was preceded in death by her son, Michael.
She is survived by her children, Linda Kalnen, Deborah Kalnen, Ted Kalnen (wife, Rebecca Kalnen ) and Martin Kalnen; grandchildren, Rae Salling, Krystal Jefferson, Nick Blanton, Kevin Huffman, Matthew Kalnen, Jasmine Henley, Chesley Kalnen and Savannah Kalnen; 10 great-grandchildren; very special niece, Julie Canaday; and siblings, Peg Benson, Jimmy Benson, Clifton Benson and Patricia Van Tilburg.
Visitation will be held from 6 to 7:30 p.m. Friday, July 25, 2014, at Andrews Mortuary Market Street Chapel. A private family service will be held at noon Saturday, July 26, 2014, at Oleander Memorial Gardens.
Memorials may be designated to the NHRMC Foundation, 2259 South 17th Street, Wilmington, NC 28401 for the Pink Ribbon Project or the Hospitality House.
Please leave online condolences for the family at Andrews Mortuary.
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