SOUTHPORT — Unforgettable, inconceivably, unbelievably, Barbara, that’s what you always been. Unforgettable, though near and far. Like a song of love that clings to me, how the thought of you does things to me. Never before, has anyone been more, unforgettable in every way. And my dear sweet Barbara, forever more, that’s how you’ll stay.
Barbara Barnes Vassar, beloved younger sister of three older sisters and a brother, was born to James T. Lewis III and Shirley Duggan Lewis on November 15, 1959. Her soul was freed from its earthly bonds on May 14, 2025 at the age of 69.
Barbara was a tomboy who grew up in the west end of Richmond VA, riding bikes, climbing trees, and competing with the boys. A graduate of Douglas Freeman High School, she went on to attend VCU. Her career as a Certified Retirement plan specialist began at Wachovia Bank as an Employee Benefit Administrator, eventually moving up to Associate Vice President at Wheat First Securities. She also served as a Compliance Paralegal at Williams & Mullen before moving up again to First Vice President at Scott & Stringfellow with a corner office overlooking Main St in Richmond. Barbara then went on to private practice at Northwestern Mutual before downsizing and retirement from Virginia Asset Management.
Barbara married young, to Jeffrey Barnes and had one child, Kenneth Barnes. She found time to teach Sunday School at Epiphany Lutheran Church, and also played softball and served as the Dive Coach to the Hungary Creek Marlins. At 39, she remarried to Warren Vassar and extended her family to five children and eventually, five grandchildren. Afterward life was a whirlwind of raising children while balancing career, travel, and other opportunities. Many years were spent on the Chesapeake Bay, boating and sailing, with many friends and memories from the time spent with the Stingray Harbor Yacht Club where she supported positions of Commodore, Vice Commodore, Treasurer, and Fleet Captain. She enjoyed RV life with a 30’ travel trailer, a 40’ Park model in Greys Point Campground, and finally both a gas and diesel motorhome. Last year she completed a bucket list RV trip out west through 14 states staying at a dozen national and state parks and connecting with friends and family along the way.
Barbara retired in 2017 to the quaint small town of Southport NC where she made many close friends and enjoyed playing pickleball, golf, dancing and concerts, eating out, and walking the beaches. She enjoyed both family and adult vacations every year, making wonderful memories. International trips included Mexico, Nova Scotia, Bermuda, Bahamas, Caymans, Machu Picchu, London, Paris, Bruges, Amsterdam, Germany, Austria, Budapest, and China. She also completed a 26 day Royal Caribbean cruise from Seattle to Sydney Australia with stops in Hawaii, Fiji, New Caledonia, and Vanuatu. Her favorite trips were Italy where she marveled at the architecture and artwork in Venice, Pisa, Florence, Assisi, and Rome and a European River Cruise with our Dirty Dozen, a group of friends who laughed, loved, and traveled together.
She adored her dog Sugar and her many Cats. A Master Gardener, she loved making the world a more beautiful place. She was also a Certified Natural Health Professional and Master Herbalist. While at her second home in Punta Gorda, Florida, she learned of her late-stage cancer diagnosis. Determined to live, she had fun with her friends dancing at the country club, boating, going out to dinners, watching sunsets and hosting a farewell Easter dinner before returning back home. Taken from us too soon, she was loved and will be dearly missed by all.
Preceded in death by her parents, she is survived by her loving husband; Warren Vassar; children, Katie Slavey, Jennifer Vassar, Kenneth Barnes, Kristine Vassar, and Heather Vassar; and her grandchildren, Alexis Vassar, Amber Slavey, Junior Slavey, Graham Madu, and Arabella Schrader.
Services to be held in NC and VA will be announced at a later date.
Her ashes will be lovingly scattered amongst her favorite places.
In lieu of flowers, memorial gifts may be made by check payable to the “Barbara Vassar Memorial Fund”, mailed c/o the North Carolina Community Foundation, Inc., 3737 Glenwood Avenue, Suite 460, Raleigh, NC 27612.
Where is my beautiful Wife?
My Partner, my lover, my rock,
That colors my world,
That brings love and joy?
There she is, in her garden,
Lying asleep under the roses.
