On any given day, you’re likely to find the members of Rivers Edge Veterans Association (REVA) playing a round of golf. You’re just as likely to see them pack up that game on a moment’s notice to help a fellow veteran as part of Lower Cape Fear LifeCare’s Vet-to-Vet Program.
The Blue Boys, as LCFL team members affectionately call REVA members who volunteer for the agency, come to the aid of veteran patients whenever they are called. Whether it’s to help with chores around the house, provide companionship, honor a fellow veteran with a pinning ceremony, or even sing folk songs, they’re always willing help a fellow veteran.
REVA was originally formed in 2016 after Nick Micale, REVA president, sent an email out to fellow homeowners to gauge interest among veterans to form a service group. In 2017, member Larry Shapiro brought the idea to the group about volunteering as part of Lower Cape Fear LifeCare’s Vet-to-Vet Program. He had heard from a friend who volunteered for the nonprofit hospice that they were looking for veterans to volunteer. Initially, five REVA members became hospice volunteers. Today, nine serve as Vet-to-Vet volunteers.
The group was introduced to the Veteran Pinning Ceremony during the last training session and were asked if this was a service they were interested in performing for patients and their families. The rest is history. The group fully embraced the concept and makes themselves available to provide pinning ceremonies whenever and wherever they are requested.
If a veteran is admitted to the SECU Hospice House of Brunswick overnight, the family is asked if they would be interested in a pinning ceremony to honor their loved one. The team is generally notified by 10 o’clock in the morning.
“Periodically, we’ll be making the turn on the golf course to play the back nine holes,” Micale said. “One of us will check our phone; we watch it closely. Usually, there’s no immediate rush. We’ll finish our game of golf, go home, shower, shave, and be there by 3 or 4 o’clock.”
Other veteran requests are sent through a volunteer coordinator is notified through an LCFL social worker that a family would like an in-home visit. Micale is provided the contact information for the family and reaches out to coordinate a time.
“Usually, they may say they have family coming from out of town; we can give it a few days. Or, they may say tomorrow.”
Micale then contacts other Blue Boys to see who’s available and tries to get as many as possible to participate.
“It will also happen on occasion that Nick says we’ve got a message at 10 or 10:30 in the morning, and we’re told it has to happen now,” Shapiro said. “We could be anywhere on the golf course and immediately we start driving off the golf course, run home, shower, shave and get to the hospice care center by noon or 12:30. Basically, we put everything on hold to get there.”
“You let us know and we’ll make it work,” said Micale. “Whether it’s three, or five, or more of us. We’ll be there.”
Before the ceremony, they talk to family members and to the veteran, if possible, to get to know a little bit about the person they are honoring so that they can include some of the information in the ceremony. They also try to have a member on hand who served in the same branch of service as the veteran and let that person take the lead in talking to the veteran and in performing the ceremony.
Of course, they like to take the time to introduce themselves.
“We find out a bit about them and tell them a little about ourselves. First off that we’re not just a bunch of guys with a bunch of blue shirts on,” Micale joked.
You will never find a group more dedicated to their duties than the Blue Boys. They know how important these interactions with veterans and their families are.
“To give them the recognition that many of them may have never gotten, to help them, and to help the families to witness and be comforted as that vet is transitioning to the next world is important,” Shapiro said. “We want to be there to share some final memories with these vets. There’s nothing as sacred as being there to honor a vet when they’re leaving this world. It’s very special to us.”
Shapiro says it’s not uncommon to hear family members express that they didn’t know a certain detail about their loved one’s time in service, or that they’ve never seen them open up so much or talk so much about their time in service. It’s also not uncommon for adult children to express how much the ceremony means to them.
“I’ve had one son run up to me and throw his arms around me in a hug,” Shapiro said. “’You gave my dad his dignity,’ he said. ‘You welcomed him home. That is the first time anyone has shown any honor to my father. You’ve given us a memory that will stay with us the rest of our lives.’”
“We’ve come to realize, as important as it is to honor the vets, being there and seeing how the families react to what we do and the comfort they take from what we do, is as much of a reason as the vet for why we do what we do,” Shapiro said.
While the Blue Boys understand the importance of the services they perform, it doesn’t keep them from getting swept up in the emotions of the moment.
“It’s not uncommon to come home and burst out in tears because it does become rather emotional,” Shapiro said.
Lower Cape Fear LifeCare is currently a Level 4 Partner in the We Honor Veterans program and working on Level 5 certification. It is hoping to expand the Vet-to-Vet volunteer program throughout its service area to ensure more veterans in our community receive the support and recognition they deserve.
“We understand that veterans have certain needs at end of life that only a fellow veteran can satisfy,” Jason Clamme, director of community engagement, said. “Often, they need to talk about their time in service and only a fellow veteran can understand the demands and consequences of serving, especially in combat. Other times, they need to be honored for the service they provided to our country that was not honored when they returned home. That’s where our veteran volunteers can help.”
If you are interested in learning more about Lower Cape Fear LifeCare’s Vet-to-Vet Program and joining their ranks, contact Laura Long, volunteer programs coordinator, at 910-620-5062 or email [email protected].
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