WILMINGTON — Thomas Francis Ryder Jr., known affectionately as Tom, Timmy, or Tim—and to us, simply as Dad or Grandpa—was born in Congers, New York, and raised in Haverstraw.
He was the beloved only son of Elsie Drescher Ryder and Thomas F. Ryder Sr. Though an only child, Tom grew up surrounded by a large extended family, filled with aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was in that lively household that he developed his sharp wit and his lifelong love of storytelling and joke-telling.
Tom was a standout student and a gifted multi-sport athlete, excelling in both baseball and basketball. His talents and academic excellence earned him a full academic scholarship to Manhattan College. After college, he entered the U.S. Marines as an officer candidate and later continued as an officer candidate in the U.S. Army, where he proudly served as the physical trainer for the U.S. Army football team stationed at Fort Sill, Oklahoma.
Following his military service, Tom received an academic scholarship to Columbia University, where he earned his degree in Physical Therapy. Caring for others became his life’s passion. He went on to serve as Director of Physical Therapy at Good Samaritan Hospital in Suffern, New York, and later at Rockland Psychiatric Center. In both places, he made a lasting impact with his dedication, skill, and compassion.
Beyond his professional career, Tom was deeply devoted to the town of Haverstraw and worked tirelessly to make it a better place. He served as a trustee and elected official, giving his time and heart to the community for many years. His love for Haverstraw was constant, and his service left a lasting impression on the place he proudly called home.
He also brought his love of sports and mentorship into the neighborhood, running informal sports clinics right in the backyard with his family and most of the neighborhood kids. He was deeply committed to teaching the value of athletics, teamwork, and healthy competition. Many summer nights were spent with the “neighborhood gang,” as he pitched batting practice, encouraged hustle, and made everyone feel like they were part of something special.
Tom was married to his first wife, Patricia Ryder, with whom he shared three loving children: Thomas, Cathleen, and Michael. He was a devoted father-in-law to Lisa Gilbert Ryder and Timothy Curry, and a cherished grandfather to Thomas Jay Ryder, Patrick Ryder, Reid Gilbert (and his wife McKenzie), and Gabriella Celentano. He was also a proud great-grandfather to Grey, the son of Reid and McKenzie. To his family, he was more than just Tom—he was Dad and Grandpa, the heart and soul of so many joyful memories.
He lived his later years at Porters Neck Village with his second wife, Eileen, where he quickly became beloved by both residents and staff alike. With his ever-present smile, he never missed a chance to brighten someone’s day with a kind word, a quick joke, or a warm conversation.
Tom instilled in our minds the importance of integrity, a strong work ethic, and genuine kindness toward others. One of his favorite life lessons was simple but powerful: always go out of your way to make someone feel good—even if it’s just a hello and a smile. He’d often say that doing this not only lifts someone else’s day, but lifts your own as well. That was his gift to the world—and we witnessed it time and time again.
Even in his final days, Tom continued to share beautiful moments with his family. His daughter, granddaughter, and grandsons came to town, and they spent treasured time together—laughing, reminiscing, and capturing some truly joyful memories on video that will live on forever. He was surrounded by the most important people in his life just a week before his passing.
A man of deep faith, Tom was a devoted Catholic. True to his character, he never lost his sense of humor. One of his favorite ways to say goodbye—whether leaving a room, finishing a conversation, or simply heading out for the day—was the German phrase: “Auf Wiedersehen” (pronounced “Ow-f VEE-der-zayn”) – Until we meet again. It became part of his signature charm, a warm farewell that always left people smiling. And so now, with full hearts, we say it back to him—Auf Wiedersehen, Dad.
Thank you for a life filled with laughter, love, and unforgettable moments.
You will live forever in our hearts.
