HAMPSTEAD — George Louis Hartner, Jr., 65, of Hampstead, North Carolina, died March 29, 2025. He was born in Wantagh, New York, on August 22, 1959, to parents George and Ethel Hartner.
Life and work took him around the country, and he met his wife, Jane Cockrell, in New Jersey in 1983.
George moved to Hampstead, North Carolina, with his family in 2005, where he and Jane co-founded a successful landscape lighting business.
He quickly came to love his new home and renewed his teenage passion for surfing.
George faced a lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder, for which he sought treatment and would talk openly with anyone who he thought could benefit from hearing about someone else’s pain. In 2022, the depression worsened and began to resist forms of treatment that had previously helped. After several years of fighting to find relief from the pain, George made the decision to end his own life.
His family would like to express that while suicide is not something to be glorified, George’s decision to find release from his years of suffering is something that we understand and respect. In a kinder world, the resources available to George while he was in treatment would have struck a balance between finding holistic, spiritual answers to his pain along with traditional medication. Those who worked with George during his depression did amazing and compassionate work but were often up against a medical and insurance system that does not fully empathize or understand the pain that comes with mental illness.
The stigma surrounding mental illnesses often leaves patients feeling isolated and embarrassed about their condition. These struggles are as real and impactful as any illness of the body. This stigma does nothing to help those struggling from mental illness and often makes it harder to seek treatment and recover.
The main regret that his family feels is that we were unable to be by his side when he made the decision to end the pain. Were it possible, we would have been with him telling him how much he was loved.
The final years of George’s life stood in stark contrast to those that came before. George was a man of intense passion for life. He loved music, especially that of The Beatles and Bob Dylan. He started numerous bands and musical projects and produced several albums which were windows into a complex and loving soul.
George was a passionate surfer in all seasons and loved nothing more than spending time in the lineup with friends and strangers alike.
George never met someone he couldn’t find a way to connect to, and he counted among his friends rock stars and blue collar workers alike. His relationships were never about status, but human connection. There was no one that George had more time for than the underdog. From children experiencing a tough upbringing to those with special needs, George made sure that they felt seen and treasured.
George loved to spread joy, and vacations usually found him inventing a new game that would become the highlight of the trip for the children of the family (and all the children who were in a several mile radius).
He is preceded in death by his daughter, Alexandra Jane Hartner, his parents, George and Ethel and his eldest sister, Karen.
George is survived by his wife, Jane, son Zeke Hartner, daughter-in-law Leah Vidovich, sisters Diane Hooker and Robin Middleton, and many in-laws, nieces and nephews.
Instead of a formal service (which George would have hated for being stuffy and quiet), a memorial paddle out will be held at the North side of the Surf City Pier on Topsail Beach, at 9 a.m. Saturday, April 5, 2025.
